I'm worried that I'm coming off as a know-it-all, like I've got it all figured out. Not what I mean at all.
I just tire of hearing marriage getting a bad rap when for me, it's the single decision I'm sure of.
Like you said, all couples deal with stuff because they care about each other. But being married means that you always will. Your scheduling absolutely wreaks havoc on relationships. Your SO has dealt with it and is still around, but there's that possibility that he will tire of it. If you were to have that assurance (as much as you can have anything assured) that he's going to be okay with it, it takes pressure off.
There's that Love Story quote that love means never having to say you're sorry. I think it's more not having to apologize for who you are. I doubt you could ever be the hausfrau type. I suspect that's also part of why your SO is attracted to you. It's more than saying, "screw it if they can't deal let the chips fall where they may." It's not having to bet those chips that gets you on to something more.
I've got no judgment against those whose marriages haven't worked. I just think that when it does, and it does, it's about as good as things get.