Review: “Reboots & Retreads” by CJ Ambrosia

This past year has been tragic in nearly every way possible. But the forced downtime and early onset of cabin fever allowed many creatives to pursue their passions and pour themselves fully into those projects ruminated upon but never quite coalesced. Almost a full year into the pandemic, we’re seeing some of these projects emerge. So, it would seem, is the case with CJ Ambrosia’s magnum oof-us “Reboots & Retreads.”

I am of two minds about this album.

On one hand, I can appreciate the drive that saw this record through to completion. The musicianship is solid, and the songs are well-constructed.

On the other hand, I have no idea who the album is for or who would find it interesting. It is devoid of depth and subtext. The only thing more hollow than the core concepts of each song is the tinny and lifeless vocal performance. What follows is a summation of my immediate reactions track by track as I listened, mixed in with overall impressions.

The title track sucks. It’s the musical equivalent of “old man yells at cloud.” The music can best be described as cookie-cutter. Track two, “All I Have To Give,” sounds like bad ’90s alternative a la Bob Seger or late Willie Nelson. It’s like if Johnny Cash covered Third Eye Blind instead of Nine Inch Nails.

Moving on only serves to depress the listener further with the tracks “M. Y. O. B.” and “Scapegoat.” Both these songs sound like everything you’ve heard AC/DC play that’s not on “Back in Black.” There is nothing original in the music itself, and the lyrics smack of someone stuck in the past and in total denial that life moves forward and we must change with it.

Come to think of it, that’s exactly what the music sounds like too — like nothing anybody has done in the last 20 years matters or has an impact. It reminds me of the old man who thinks the girl behind the counter wants to hear him complain about how much people use their phones these days. I couldn’t even get through all of the next song, “Legislate Me,” which fell into a super cringe pit with no way out.

The cringe continues with “Influenca.” (Get it? ’Cause influencers are a disease!) “Left Or Right” is a country ballad about not having enough conviction to pick a side politically, a notion I find irresponsible and childish these days. Finally, “We Can” is supposed to be a progressive togetherness anthem, but when it follows the rest of the songs on this album, it feels more like empty platitudes.  

Every beat of this album is ripped off, probably subconsciously. It’s unironically self-unaware — uninteresting, unnecessary, and unfortunate. Especially because there’s a lot of talent showcased on this record; it’s just wasted here.